Despite a raging pandemic, fans still have a chance to be in the stadium this football season when the Buckeyes crush the rest of the Big Ten. Unfortunately, it will only be in the form of cardboard cutouts.
Ohio State is filling the stands at the Shoe with cardboard likenesses of fans, and you can order one of your very own. Student section cutouts go for as little as $25 for the full season. Too bad a season pass can’t always be that cheap.
Now, when I heard about this, my immediate instinct was to figure out as many degenerate things as possible to include in my cardboard likeness, for the enjoyment of eagle-eyed television viewers across the country. Maybe I could be partaking of an illicit substance, or shotgunning a beer, or giving the camera a good old-fashioned flash? But no, we are not allowed any fun this year, it seems.
There is a long list of very strict rules surrounding the content of your cutout photo, and I’m honestly stumped. They are as follows:
- One person per cutout.
- No commercial advertising, including company names, apparel brands, hashtags, social media handles, phone numbers, logos, slogans or other branding.
- Team-branded attire only. No third-party branding, including on apparel and in photo backgrounds. No attire or other branding of NCAA or professional sports teams.
- No offensive or negative comments about the institution or other NCAA or professional sports teams.
- No lewd, inappropriate or offensive photos.
- No alcohol, illegal drugs, tobacco, or firearms/weapons.
- No names, images, or likenesses of any players.
- The Ohio State University Department of Athletics reserves the right to reject any photo that it determines, in its sole discretion, violates these guidelines or is otherwise offensive or otherwise inappropriate.
Yikes, man. So, I’m asking for your input. Comment below or tweet at @614Campus and tell us what ideas you have for a crude, rude, or lewd cutout that would embarrass even the coolest of parents.